Draft Legislation

During the past year our Legislature passed some badly misinformed legislation. Not to call anyone out but some of the bills were just terrible. This inspired me to draft my own new terrible legislation. Here is an incomplete list of the provisions:

The Huge Time Out provision in the new legislation

The Nomenclaturing provision in the new legislation

The Personal Pronoun provision in the new legislation

The Eddie Haskell provision in the new legislation

The Diapering provision in the new legislation

The Here’s the Thing provision in the new legislation

The Completeness provision in the new legislation

The I Don’t Care provision in the new legislation

The Arithmatic provision in the new legislation

The Why Would We Do It provision in the new legislation

The Why Wouldn’t We Do It provision in the new legislation

The Upgrading provision in the new legislation

The Keep Me Signed In On This Device provision in the new legislation

The Jane Pauly provision in the new legislation

The Corinthian Leather Institute provision in the new legislation

The Bleaching provision in the new legislation

The Leading Question provision in the new legislation

The ToggleTalk Training provision in the new legislation

The Bermuda Triangle provision in the new legislation

The Mason Crosby provision in the new legislation

The Detroit Lions provision in the new legislation

The Commitment to Ineffectiveness provision in the new legislation

The Abject provision in the new legislation

The Maybe Sometimes it Takes an Iowan provision in the new legislation

The Homework Assignment provision in the new legislation

The Completeness Doctrine provision in the new legislation

Note: these provisions can serve as talking points for discussion, debate and press interviews.